Turning sad days into happy ones

Not as easy as it sounds, but I’m going to try!

I sent D’s dad a message for Fathers Day.  I wanted to call but I just didn’t think I was up for the emotional roller coaster it would bring.  In return I got a fantastic email from him today updating me on the fam bam and the nieces having a ball in my dad’s fancy dress shop!  Made me sad but very glad to hear from him!  I can’t help but still feel like they have every right to hate me and the love they continue to show me makes me feel like they will be a second family to me forever.  We’re all hurting and to have that just helps so much!

I also realised today that the wedding we are attending this weekend is on the second anniversary for D and I’s miscarriage.  This will be an incredibly hard day for me.  We will all be struggling with D not being there in the first place, and then this on top.  I am praying to whichever deity’s left foot will help me through this one to turn this weekend into one of the happiest memories I have (maybe second to the one where D told me with stinky morning breath that he wanted to wake up next to me forever).  I have the most amazing group of friends who will be around me this weekend so here’s hoping!

I am such a lucky bugger sometimes!  As a friend of mine used to say, kissed on the ass by fairies!  Thanks K!  Haven’t felt much of the kisses of late, but maybe they’ll come back to me!  Eventually…..  They can’t stay away forever, surely?





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