29th June 2013
Well, a whole year. It has taken me this last couple of months to really think about what to say. What can you say about a year that has taken me to highs and lows that have tested me, and sometimes found me wanting?
I could liken this last year to baking. All the right ingredients to help me to survive, yet sometimes the mix was wrong, or I opened the oven door too early. Sometimes the mix was absolutely perfect, and I wondered why I was worried that I might never breathe again.
Then there’s moments of reflection. When you stand there, done, wiping the icing sugar off the bench, and admire the masterpiece in front of you. Sometimes that was just looking in the mirror, to tell yourself you made it through another day, and sometimes it was just a cake. You mixed it, you baked it, it tasted sensational and other people enjoyed that mouthful of delicious, guilty pleasure.
At the end of the day, I have lost a massive part of my life, but I am again finding me. It’s a tough call to find that person again when you so completely shared it with someone else and it moulded and shaped the person you are today, but sometimes that batter just needs another minute to stir to absolute fluffy perfection, with a crumb to make Mother Teresa sing.
So, to you, D, thank you for being an amazing part of my life, and for giving me memories that I will cherish forever. I will never stop loving you, but I know that there is room for someone as special as you, and I’d like to think you’re searching to send the best picks my way.
A cake will rise when you trust your instinct and have patience.
Missing you always.